


Give Him a Lonely Heart Like Pagliacci

by ileolai



Series: Fawlty TARDIS [8]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Gen, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-09 00:53:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14706035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ileolai/pseuds/ileolai
Summary: An old, silly dialogue-thing from my journal. Another chapter in the perpetual and unrelenting torment of Nardole.





	Give Him a Lonely Heart Like Pagliacci

**MISSY:**  (from below deck) _bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom, bom bom bom bom bom ♫_  
  
**NARDOLE:**  ... What is she doing?  
  
**MISSY** : _bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom, bom bom bom bom bom ♫_  
  
**DOCTOR:**  (apologetically) Singing.  
  
**MISSY:**   _Mr. Sandmaaaan, bring me a dream- bom bom bom bom ♫_  
  
**NARDOLE** : Please make her stop.  
  
**MISSY** : _Make him the cutest that I've ever seen- bom bom bom bom ♫_  
  
**DOCTOR:**  I can't.   
  
**MISSY:** _Give him two lips, like roses and cloverrr ♫_  
  
**NARDOLE** : Please, sir.  
  
**MISSY:**  (drumming in time) _AND TELL HIM THAT HIS LONESOME NIIIIGHTS! ARE! OOVVVERRR! ♫_  
  
**DOCTOR:**  Just ignore it, she can sense vexation like a shark smells blood.  
  
**NARDOLE** : (pained noise)

**MISSY:** _Mr. Sandman, bring me a dreeeam... ♫_  
  
  
  
(Later)   
  
  
**NARDOLE:**  (wandering the corridors with a biscuit)  
  
**MISSY:**  (quiet, sinister, out of sight)  _bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom..._  
  
**NARDOLE** : (stops) Alright, I know you're there.  
  
**MISSY** :  _bom bom bom bom bom..._  
  
**NARDOLE** : You can't scare me, Missy. I've been through a lot worse than--  
  
**MISSY:**  (appearing suddenly)  _ **MR. SANDMAN!!!**_  
  
**NARDOLE:**  (screams, drops biscuit)  
  
**MISSY** : (picks it up and eats it) Thanks!  
  
  
(Later)  
  
  
**NARDOLE:**  She needs to go back in the vault.  
  
**DOCTOR:**  I can't put her back in the vault. She's made a lot of progress.  
  
**NARDOLE:**  She's still bloody awful.  
  
**DOCTOR:**  Yeah. Could be worse, though. She could be making mittens out of you while singing that song.  
  
**NARDOLE:**  Ooh, thank my lucky stars, then!


End file.
